It’s just three little words… that hold a lot of weight. Ever wonder why we haven’t just hopped down the coast to Mexico by now? Three little words… Permission to Travel.
For those of you who don’t know when you get divorced each party has a voice in if the other parent can leave the country with the kids. The parent who wants to travel has to get written permission (preferably certified) from the other parent that they consent to the travel.
I’m not an attorney. I can’t afford an attorney. I can only tell you about my experiences, what I have done, and how it worked out for me.
Every time I want to travel I have to ask my ex for permission and every time my ex tells me no. When an ex denies permission they are supposed to have a really good reason such as they are in fear that the other parent is a “flight risk” and will disappear with the kids forever or the other parent is planning on going to Yemen and it is extremely dangerous. It’s not supposed to be things like because I just don’t want you to or I’m not going to give you permission until you give me what I want.
The good news is that not all hope is lost. The courts can supersede an ex. Two years ago I filed a general motion with the courts to “override” my ex. Essentially I was asking the judge to allow me to travel with the kids because I didn’t feel that my ex had a valid reason to not give me consent to travel. The court documents granted me permission to travel. At the time I didn’t realize that I had to continue to ask permission from my ex every single time I want to take the kids out of the country.
I don’t like to get the courts involved. I really prefer not to. I think it is better when both parties can come to an agreement and make things work amongst themselves. A judge doesn’t know all the little details of the families and generally walking out of a courtroom no one is happy. It is best for all parties involved to sit down and work something out between themselves. However, this is not always possible.
I feel like my hands are being tied behind my back. I want the kids to have the experience of traveling. To see and experience different countries that seem like different worlds.. I think it will be amazing for them to see the different cultures and have the life experience. I believe it will challenge them of who they are, what they believe, and why they believe it. The kids will be greatly enriched from experiencing other countries, a lifestyle on a sailboat with us, and a lifestyle in a city with my ex. Why can my ex not see this?
This is something I feel strongly about and will keep fighting for until the kids are old enough to make their own decisions. I do believe kids have a voice and what they want does matter.