My worldview has been changing a lot over the past seventeen years. I took a very negative outlook on life when my father and I got into a physical fight when I was fifteen, I got removed from his home, and placed with my mother in a different state. I was very angry at that time having been removed from my brother, my friends, and the life I liked. When I was seventeen I was beat up by a police officer, put in the hospital, arrested, and sued by the police force. It was then that my view of the world went from not only negative to hating any form of authority. I had no faith in the justice system and felt that the system we live by in the United States is a fraud. I blamed God for letting those things happen to me and I felt that if I could not count on the Almighty then I could not count on anyone else. It was every man for himself.
I continued to have that look on life until I was twenty four and newly married. I felt God was pulling at my heart. I started seeking answers, but I still had a relatively negative look on things. My worldview did not start to change until the day in the hospital when I had my daughter. Looking down at my new baby I realized God did love me and gave me, of all people, this beautiful healthy baby that He made. My look on the world and on religion really started to change. I realized that our society is majorly based around consumerism, but the Bible says not to store up treasures here on earth for where your treasures are your heart is (Matthew 6:19-21). I also started to realize how mean and greedy people are, just as I had been, every man for himself. Also I had a very life changing experience with what I refer to as the “Creepy House”. The more I sought out God and answers the more Satan was attacking me. It seemed my eyes had been opened to a new worldview, a Christian worldview.
In all my changing worldviews I can say that never in my whole life have I ever doubted God existed. I know God exists, even when I was angry at Him. After it seemed like my eyes had been opened and I was not getting answers from the church I started to seek them on my own. On this quest for knowledge I felt God was leading me to a higher education and that was when I made the decision to go to school for Christian Ministry. After attending HIU for three years I did not feel I was getting the knowledge God wanted me to have and switched to Regent University. All through my schooling so far I feel that people are in the dark about God. Another big thing that changed my Christian worldview is humility. It has really clear to me in my studies that we need humility because knowledge is power, but we can easily become over run by that power and detached.
I have really started to realize how much my worldview has changed these past several weeks. It used to be so hard for me to turn the other cheek or be the bigger person. I have had so many confrontations these past few weeks, especially with my husband’s ex, with people trying to pick fights with me. Before I would fight back verbally and sometimes physically. Now I look at these people differently. If Jesus loved these people enough to die for them then the least I can do is try to show God’s love through me. One thing I am still trying to figure out is the line of when we are to defend ourselves. I do not believe God intended for us to be completely passive because if we were we would not stand up for our faith. In John Piper’s book Thinking. Loving. Doing it really stood out to me when he stated, “That unceasing anguish motivates us to talk.” (Piper, J. p. 108). It is not always easy to talk, at least not for me, but I feel God has been putting me in situations where I have to talk. I cannot not talk when a person tells me they are an athiest, agnostic, or a stranger walks up to me and says “Let me tell you why I hate God”. The last few years traveling around talking to people about God has really altered my view on the world, Christians, and the church. I feel like another veil has been lifted off of my eyes.
Piper, J. (2011). Thinking, loving, doing. Wheaton, Ill.: Crossway.
The Holy Bible: Containing the Old and New Testaments with the Apocryphal/Deuterocanonical books : New Revised Standard Version. (1989). New York: Oxford University Press.